"this is the new year, and i don't feel any different"

It's Sunday morning. Afternoon, technically. morning if you're me. or if you know who i am. It's the second day of January. the Second day of 2011. It's the seventh day this week. It's been 8 days since Christmas. 18 days since my birthday. I don't understand New Years celebrations at all. tomorrow will be more different than a year from now. yet it seems everyone's taken new years to get smashed and start resolutions. like "i'm gonna drink less" or "I'm gonna work out more" and as always most people will quit by the end of February. I'm not against self improvement. I'm really not. I'm against trivial reasoning. that's why it doesn't work. I want to work out more, so if i ever get in a fight i don't get absolutely destroyed. that's why i'm not going to work out more. there's very little chance of me ever getting in a fight. most people will do anything to avoid one. and I'm not any different. changing yourself for a new year is pointless and ridiculous. Good luck. You're going to need it.


I want you to hit me. As hard as you can.

silent night.

it's strange how the world is silent
like the loss of one voice hollows all space
and removes my heart.
it's not that i'm hurt but numb
i cannot be entertained
i cannot be in pain
as my body burns
and my hope dies
i only wish to hear your voice
as my mind goes blind and deaf
i take my chance to scream;

i miss you

A love poem

a love poem is best whispered
in the ear of your lover
in between kisses
after euphoria

a love poem is best kept short
short enough to amuse
to long is, frankly,
Indolent
imagine;

as lovers kiss and smiles rush
and chemical burst
throughout bodys
he  leans  in
relaxes his
lips by her
ear and
whipsers
"happiness"

They say home is where the heart is; no wonder i'm so lost

this is just A way to say
i just want to B with you
like you just want to C me
you told me count to D I tried
the teacher gave me an E
and shit i want to F
but shit ain't i me, G
up up up a little closer to H
but that's just not how my I sees it
ya know what i'm saying, capiche, cool K?
lalala drop the L
cause ya know you gotta stop M
ain't N'y way
To let this go-o-o-O
so take a piss in the street, sorry P
for those who like it neat well how bout a dose of Q
or R they to "off"
S just not straight enough
i got to T
U filthy little prick
i'll destroy a V
W and double me
the number 3, finding X
knowing Y
we never even dreamed of Z

and she is the circumference of my brain

Consider this stalled inspiration
while skin does touch skin
you feel like completion
and i, I feel right.
for the first
time
I
can
remember
and you are the
circumference of my brain

Don't just do something, stand there.

everyone just seems to be tangent
everything just seems to be tangent
like my strength is fading
and the light from the window pane
is crushing my chest
unable to move; i sit
i don't deserve
i don't do
but every now and then
I sing

then the people came
from miles around
came to watch me wither
alone in my bed
said i was beautiful
beyond that of the blue-eyed boy
hiding in pictures behind raindrops
and cigarettes
we knew i'd someday fade.

you don't always have to do something
you don't always have to deserve

everyone looked so tangent
everything looked so tangent

so i closed my eyes
and lied alone in bed
we all fade

I don't really know how to say what i'm thinking.
cause it's not really words
and dum dun dun dum SLAM SLAM SLAM
doesn't quite do the trick
but if you stripped away the lyrics
and left me with a piece you know i'd sing


just for the way it used to be
before all this shit, give credit to me
i'd do almost anything
don't ask what this treally means

cause i'm

falling out loud
nothing i know
think how i know

nothing about
the way that we play
come tomorrow

like a brand new a-bomb, drop it
middle finger in the air from my pit
watch it in the future, where you spit
oh hot damn well fuck it
look me in the eyes you can suck it
i know nothing but nothing
bring me back a lil something
when i get back you'll know there's something
darlin' why don't you just walk a mile.




falling out loud
nothing i know
think how i know

nothing about
the way that we play
come tomorrow

watch for the beat of my heart
to each new day a brand new start
look for tomorrow
the place i'm not
and the sun still rises

i'm nothing and scared